These past few days, I have been thinking alot. I think it has got to do with some of my friends around me, and the past behind me. I just can’t help but think, that alot of things has changed, without me realising the transition of things around me.

Growing up is never easy. It never was. But it was comforting in the sense that we know we will always try and move on, because we wanna be strong. And when things get emotionally out of control, we always hope to have someone to fall back on. It’s always like this, no?

However, moving on is easier said than done, really. When I smile or laugh, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m happy. Sometimes I wonder why I’m living in such denial. People build barriers around themselves, including me. But sometimes I feel that not only have I built barriers around myself, but I have also built barriers within myself, for some reason. Been detached and nonchalant to things around me, this is so unlike me. The transition of me changing into someone else that I do not even recognise or realise, is really inhumanly scary.

Just last week while I was having dinner with my group of friends, both me and Grace were just talking about something of the same wavelength. She was telling me that most people would not go that extra mile for that someone, if he or she is already comfortable in their own kind of comfort zone, with a core group of friends to fall back on for support. So does that mean, as long as we have a certain few individual friends that we can trust or rely on, we can take our so-called 2nd or even 3rd tier of friends for granted? I asked her, and she stuttered. She didn’t know how to reply me. I smiled and said it was alright, most people didn’t expect this kind of questions too.

The other day, I was abit disgruntled with Jimmy. I rebuked and complained that he didn’t spare time to hang out with us anymore, without me realising that he was been involved with more important stuffs in his life. He has been helping out this friend of his who’s just been discharged from ICU, after a great fall from a 6th storey-high building. Somehow after he told me this, I felt a tinge of guilt inside me for blaming him, and forgave him. It’s very rare to find someone who’s willing to go that extra mile for a friend, regardless of his or her own schedule. Deep inside my heart, he has my respect. And just awhile back ago, he almost got involved with the military law, because of a friend too. I think friends like this are very hard to come by. I’m glad to say that I’m fortunate to know him actually, he will always be one of my greatest and closest friend in life.

And of course, I’m very glad and happy to say, I have found friends whom I can trust and rely on. Regardless of things that happened in the past, how some friends has betrayed or cheated me, my faith in my friends has never been really wavered, just like how a tree is strong by its own roots. I might have made compromises along the way in some way or the other, or even showed you my attitude or temper, but my faith and trust in my friends, will always be there.

Sometimes, when we fall, we have to remember, that as long as we pick ourselves up, our strong will and faith will always be there, waiting for us.

“If you live, there will be a horrible day, but there will also be an amazing day. That’s what life is all about.”

Over the past week, I have had countless of thoughts drifting in and out of my mind. 2 very self-compelling thoughts hit me and had me wondering for awhile.

“You can only judge the strength of a friendship in the face of adversity” and “The whole idea of monogamy and one true love”.

Yadda yadda yadda. The 2 questions lingered on my mind for pretty awhile, that I got so sick of it and just shrugged them out of my mind back to back. But somehow they keep coming back at me, leaving me at my wits’ ends. Pfffttt.

I think sometimes, I’m just taking the easy way out. Running away. Yeah, makes me comfortable of course, but only in a temporary way. Sooner or later I will have to deal with it again, and then I will be stuck with the kind of situation that I don’t wanna be in, with no solutions whatsoever. 問題となる事実? 問題の分析と解決? (._.)

Ok skip that. I’ll just do a recap of what I did over the past week.

Caught Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It was pretty alright. 150 minutes of pure fantasy goodness for any Harry Potter fan. I’m not a fan of the books so I’m not hardcore enough to give a true verdict from a book nook’s point of view. 3 stars out of 5 stars for me.

And after a few weeks of hiatus from running, I have since went back to running almost everyday now. I think I have hurted my left tendon, but I think it’s because of an old injury I got since NS. Nonetheless I think with enough rest I should be alright again, no worries. Guess I just stressed my legs too much, after a long absence from regular running. But it certainly feels good again. I love long-distance running.

Finally met up with her too, and she likes the stuff I gave her. She seems more busy this semester, or so she said. So I’m not sure if we will have a chance to hang out again, but I’m just glad we are on talking terms again. I’m trying to plan a surprise for her this upcoming X’mas, but I’m going hush hush on the details so don’t even think about it heh. (^ ^)

Lorraine and I are planning to take up japanese classes this December, but we haven’t really decided on which school to take. I had gotten a few suggestions from MC and am looking into the classes schedule, will have to see how it goes cause afterall I have to work part-time too.

Was supposed to start work this week at a LAN cafe, but a friend of my who recommended me the job told me the vacancy was taken up last minute. So I guess it’s back to the job-hunting again, after this weekend.

Sigh, I feel so incoherent these days. I think something’s bothering me man.

Going to Sentosa Siloso beach to chill in a few hours time. I really miss the sun and the sea. Heard that the Siloso area got upgraded recently too. Oh and who’s interested in going to Zoukout next week? Let me know ok, earlier the better so can get advance tics.

Ok monsieur aaron outtttt. (zuru-zuruuuuuuuu)

In light of the recent events of the Australian drug trafficker, if you had been following the local news, it has already been known and decided that he will be executed in Changi Prison today at 6am promptly. As much as I have no compassion towards drug traffickers, I do have something to say about this particular matter.

All along, I for one have no interest nor liking for diplomacy and politics. It’s not because I’m afraid of getting flamed by anonymous readers of this site, or the fear of getting into trouble with local authorities. It’s just that I had always felt that in regards to democracy and political issues, there is no way you can have your way of idealism, because it’s all just one-way, a one-sided affair. Not convinced? Take a look at this article I found here.

So is this the only way out for diplomacy? I certainly do not think so. While Singapore and it’s government is known for its firm and strict law followings, my personal take on this matter is that the rejection of clemency on this issue would certainly hurt Singapore in a way or the other, no matter how you view it. Please read this article here to understand why I’m saying this, if you have no freaking idea of the cold logic behind it.

So is the death penalty for that Melbourne guy really that mandatory? I believe behind every case there’s a true and sad story, and all of us knows his story. He did it for his brother, he’s had a clean record, and is also a first-time offender. And look at what his friends has done for him over at Australia outside the State Library in Melbourne. You would certainly not see something like this over here, what death penalty? Life still goes on, local people always have this kind of mentality, that who would give a flying fuck about some nobody, regardless of whoever’s gonna land on the death-row. See the difference here?

Somehow, I’m disgusted by my own country, after the events of this matter. As much as I love my country, (oh I really do love Singapore, it’s such a nice place) I’m so put off by its democracy and political issues. But can I do anything about it? Sadly, not even one bit.

Realist? Definitely not.

The rain dwindled to a drizzle. It was raining cats and dogs the whole night. I woke up awhile ago just now with drizzling rain still happening outside. I was having the intention of going for a morning run this morning but seeing how the weather is, the plans were cancelled. So I actually had the urge to laze in bed alittle while longer, but I figured that I should wake up and make myself some nice breakfast, read some newspapers and surf the net. And that’s what I did.

My breakfast = French toast with sausage and chicken pie together with soya bean milk with barley flavour in it, courtesy of Nutrisoy. Pure heavenly goodness, ’nuff said.

My weekend was pretty good. I had fun indulging myself with my PS2 and catching up on more anime and jdramas. First impressions of Resident Evil 4 and Shadow of the Colossus was great. Will do a short review of RE4 real soon. And not to forget I also had the chance to try out Mario Kart DS last Friday with the peeps after dinner at Esplanade Makansutra. First impressions of the game was pretty good; the multiplayer aspect of the game was very nice, you must try the 8-player multiplayer out yourself to get a feel of it, it’s really quite good. Who would have thought that something so simple like kart-racing would be so fun, and the feeling of 8-player multiplayer makes this game real crazily fun and addictive. I was almost sold on this one, if not for the fact that I’m not really a fan of Mario and gang, I think I would have bought this game for my NDS. Blame it on the amount of upcoming PS2 games I will have to get as well as the newly-released Sonic Rush for the NDS, so much that I can’t just buy any games that I want, so I’ll have to plan my purchases carefully for now.

Planning to go job-hunting this Wed after my last paper, and also go check out the Singapore Design Festival, which should be quite interesting the least to say. Anyone of you who’s interested to join me please feel free to give me a ring or msg, I don’t mind some company but I really intend on going alone myself, cause this is not some chilling session that I would usually do with my friends. So approach me only if you have the eye and interest for the design and culture, if not just leave me alone for this one. (^ ^)

I saw some reports on the recent World Cyber Games tournament finals which I didn’t go for some obvious reasons. I’m actually quite non-chalant abt the local PC-gaming culture here already, ’nuff said. But anyway, USA won CS: Source and Halo 2 (err what’s new?), China won WC3 (ahh thats something new to me), Korea won Starcraft: BW (not surprising at all…) and Japan won DOA: Ultimate (nothing new too). And Channel U of Mediacorp was doing the coverage for the event over the weekend too on TV, it was hilarious seeing the response of some of the gamers on TV, really. Still I’m giving the applause to the government and the media for making the event such a hoo-haa, cause it goes to show that gaming is also a culture on its own, and it’s not only what kids and children do. Some people and most older-generation people (including my mum) thinks that gaming is simply a waste of time, and isn’t beneficial in any sense. I hope that this mentality that the public holds will change very soon in the not-so-distant future. This will also encourage the younger generation who have the passion for gaming to fully unleash their talent upon competitions and tournaments like this in future, as a cyber sport and also further proving Singapore can also be a significant icon for cyber-gaming on the whole, regardless of how small the gaming community is over here. (as compared to Japan and Korea)

And onto other matters, I finally had a talk with her last night and got things resolved. I was truly relieved. But I also discovered something else, that there was actually some third-party involved. And I know that person as well too. Talk about friendships. This is just one ugly side of it. And I simply cannot understand why friends have to do these kind of things to their own friends. When you jolly well know what I’m writing about in my blog, you don’t have to go and be a messenger to the other person involved telling him or her what I had written, just because you felt that it was justifiable for doing so. There’s no such thing as it’s justifying for you to do something like this regardless of how close you are with that person, because it’s either 1) you simply enjoy been a nosey-head OR 2) you wish to score more on the good books of that related person in picture OR 3) you really really don’t understand what respecting privacy is all about, period.

Sometimes I don’t understand why people like to indulge in this kind of incessant talk. And yet he can still tell me he does it because he felt it was justifiable for him to do so. Oh please, spare me that crap. He was lucky I didn’t blew up in the midst of the conversation with him, I was holding back on my temper all the while and he just had to give me all that egoistic talk. Err, why don’t you try and be in my shoes, while I assume your role? Now let me start all the talking and gossiping stuffs about you to her, how would you feel? She told me what I needed to know, you don’t have to deny to me you didn’t start any conversations about me. So now tell me, in what way is it justifying for you to do something like this, to a friend? Ain’t what you are trying to do, trying to gossip at the expense of your friend’s position or reputation?

I told him off yesterday night, and he promised me not to do such a thing again. I certainly hoped so, cause I really treated him as my friend, he’s really alright but he’s just too egoistic for his own good. He was telling me sometime back about how he was been outcasted by people in his school, and I sympathized with him. I tried to cheer him up, and told him sincerely to look on the bright side of life; things will eventually turn and get better for him. But now, I somehow understood why he was been outcasted by his peers among him, he sometimes just does extra things that are really uncalled for. Perhaps he’s still young, he’s still insensible. But I certainly hoped that he understands one day that, there are alot of sides to everything, and just because you assumed that something was meant to be that way, it doesn’t have to turn out that way. Life is not all about going accordingly to the books and theories written in it, you have to take a risk and do it the alternative way sometimes. A baby doesn’t learn how to walk, no matter how much you tell him or her to, until he or she tries it and falls, countless of times. When you have a problem in life, sometimes you just have to keep trying, no matter how hard and tired you may be, at least you stand a spark of hope as long as you keep trying. Only perseverance and determination will pull you through, in those hard times you may encounter.

You are still my friend, no matter what. I won’t leave you in a lurch, whenever you need me. Just try to respect people’s privacy and know what you should do and shouldn’t do. If your friends are comfortable with approaching you and telling you stuffs, they will tell you eventually, you don’t even have to probe abt it from other people. Friendships are something meant to be mutual, not forced or struggling with reluctance.

Ok all’s well again. Syahmi’s booking out this Sat and we will be catching up for a movie, can’t wait to see him, he’s finally passing out from SISPEC. A real man in the making, haha. Way to go bro! And then finally I’m gonna see her this weekend as well, ahh I can’t wait.

Things are finally going back to normal in my life. It has pretty been a roller-coaster ride for me the past few weeks, especially with all those exams stress up there, her comments she left for me which caused me to be in a twirl of mindless struggle (ahhh, now u know you had caused me some additional emotional stress to handle =P) and some other issues I had to handle. I’m really glad things are going back to what they are, of course there are always people out there who will always try to make things difficult for you in life, but I will just live by the fact that, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Yeah come what may.

Ok more updates soon. Signing out ta-daa! (^ ^)

Exams are officially over and out for me. Ok not really, I still have one Art paper on the 23rd, but what the heck. I’ll just let my creativity whack it and leave the rest to fate. But somehow I’m still not happy. And I think I’m sick. Not sick as in physically sick, but emotionally sick. Something’s just wrong somewhere with me but I don’t exactly know what’s wrong with me. Bah.

Today’s also the last day of school for primary sch kids. Overheard the announcement this morning when I woke up through their P.A system since I’m just living across the school. And that means more madness and craziness to tolerate and handle when I’m outside now, since now’s the peak of the school holidays. I certainly hope Brandon and Jac can handle the crowd at their shop during this period, which would definitely be blistering with lots of customers during this holiday season.

I have an upcoming wish list and to-do list to keep in check for the next couple months till I get my results, that is.

- Help Jimmy (gupster) fix his Maxonline cable modem disconnection problem. (and gay with him at his house)
- Go find part-time baito. I NEED MONEY. (anyone got lobang to sell backside? LOL)
- Take up japanese classes. (JLPT4 level frequency is simply not enough, higher and more = good)
- Continue with my Class-3 driving progress. (I really need to get this going man, if not how to drive my friend’s Evo IX?!)
- Build up my portfolio. (I need to do more drawings and designs man, fucking not enough time)
- Finish up my backlog of games/animes/jdramas. (sigh, can we have more than 24hours a day?)
- Resolve things with her. (this can’t go on forever man, I need her back into my life)
- Make time and catch up with old friends.

Man, that’s one long whole list of stuffs I need to get done, and I wonder how much of it I will ever get done. Nevertheless it’s something I will need to keep in check, and I hope to accomplish all of them within this grace period of time set by me and no-one else but me.

I’m soooo lacking of me-time. But I still love myself. And of course I love you my friends.

Gonna meet Jimmy for lunch later and will be dropping by Gamescore to pick up my Resident Evil 4 and Shadow of the Colossus for PS2. Yeahhh more gaming goodness! Can’t wait to get my hands on RE4 man, this is like one of the most anticipated games I had been waiting for the PS2, and it was originally only released for the Nintendo Gamecube platform. Have to really thank Capcom for their nice efforts, and so far from what I saw a couple of times when people were playing it at Gamescore, the graphics were really outstanding; the game seems to be maximising the graphical power of the PS2, and you would think that it’s so bloody amazing that the PS2 is actually already a 5 years-old piece of hardware technology. Kudos to the PS2 man. *bows in respect*

Ok signing out, but before I do may I present to you a picture of the skies that I’m living under. Later everyone!

First of all, I would like to say that I’m just glad that this long hard week is finally over. I’m embracing and looking forward to my weekends like a happy little boy that has just received candies from Santa, ready to be easily satisfied with any goodness that God can throw at my life. Intending to go for a good run tomorrow morning when I wake up, then it’s breakfast? Should I run to drive 6 to buy some dou jiang you tiao? Haven’t been eating that for breakfast for quite sometime man, wahhh suddenly have this huge craving for You Tiao Da Wang. *drools* (-_-;)

So, I actually came across this article sometime ago, and I found it pretty meaningful. It’s titled “Friendship is not a Hotel”, written by a local person. I can’t remember where I first saw this but it seems to be taken off the local newspaper. So anyway here’s an extract of the article.

You can’t just check out of a friendship when you enter into a relationship.

She used to be my classmate.

We shared the same hobbies, borrowed each other’s lecture notes and had long telephone conversations.

All that changed when she had a boyfriend. She would cancel our appointments whenever he asked her out.

The first time it happened, I shrugged it off and even squealed in excitement for her.

The second time it happened, I was annoyed but only remarked casually that I seemed to be on her B-list of friends.

The third time it happened, I swore never to ask her out again.

She did not make amends. I guess the growing distance between friends can’t be felt when one seems joined at the hip with one’s partner and have him as a companion for all of one’s activities. Then, they broke up. She called me in tears at midnight and I consoled her.

All was forgiven. It felt good to put aside petty misgivings and stand steadfastly by a friend in times of adversity. Isn’t that what friends are for?

Our friendship resumed. But when she found another man, suddenly, her weekends were reserved again. Whenever I called her, she sounded preoccupied and anxious to get off the phone. Later, she became completely incommunicado.

A year later, I got a call from her; she was distraught. She told me her boyfriend had dumped her and asked that we meet. I declined and ignored her subsequent calls.

I did not say what I was thinking: ‘My friendship is not a hotel. You don’t walk in and out, as and when you wish.’

No matter how head over heels in love I may be - and no matter how a man’s charm may make my hormones rage - it never gets to the point where he takes priority over my close friends.

It’s a no-brainer. My friends have proven their mettle and stuck with me through thick and thin, while he has merely entered the picture with goodness-knows-what intentions.

Even if I were married, being with my husband would still not override time spent with my close friends. I know of people who stop seeing certain friends or resort to seeing them on the sly just because their spouses do not approve of them doing so.

A spouse will never be able to support one’s emotional needs entirely and he or she has to understand that some of these needs will have to be met outside, by friends.

Friendship brings other problems. As my social circle widens, I find it increasingly difficult to discern who my real friends and fair weather ones are.

I often feel I am invited to parties and sought after as a friend for no other reason than that I am a journalist and can, hopefully, be a means to free publicity.

The more people I know, the lonelier I feel. I am a sentimental soul who prefers the comfort of old friendships which hark back to a time when I was simply Janice, minus the fancy title and trappings.

This is why I am not entirely sure that I did the right thing by quitting that friendship. Was I too demanding? Should I have given her a second chance?

After all, we really got along and it was not like she committed something treacherous like cheating me of my money, betraying a secret or stealing my boyfriend.

Still, I have had enough of being taken for granted. Being single and available does not mean my time is any less valuable than hers.

When it is consistently a case of one person giving and the other person taking, it is time to take stock of the friendship and, perhaps, call it quits.

Like courtship - or even more so - friendship requires time, effort and reciprocity.

While courting parties can demand commitment of each other directly, the expectations in a friendship are usually implicit, subtle and unsaid, and as a result, more prone to neglect.

You may love your friends very much, but if they don’t hear from you for an extended period of time, it’s only human nature that they wonder just how much you really care about them.

As the late civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr said: ‘In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.’

Don’t misunderstand me. Couples who are newly in love are naturally consumed by each other to the exclusion of everything - and everyone - else. I don’t begrudge that. I certainly didn’t expect my friend to pay as much attention to me as she did when she was single.

I also accept that when life exerts its pressures and one’s career picks up pace, some friendships fade away. But I would be happy to rekindle such friendships.

What I bristle at is being relegated to a nobody when romance calls and then being treated like some sort of stop-gap measure when it ends.

So let’s take some time out this week to have a drink with a dear old friend, say ‘How are you?’ and be sincerely interested in finding out how they are.

I have never been so busy or so popular to the extent that I have no time for an old friend.

Nor, I pray, will I ever be so.

My take on this issue? Exactly the same sentiments as the original writer. I haven’t read such a good article from a local writer in a long time and she has totally spoke my mind about how I felt about friendships. And yes, I sometimes do feel suffocated too, when I seemingly have alot of friends, yet I do not really know which ones are my true friends. Except for a few close ones, who had never once failed me in life, but that’s like what, only one or two out of my whole social circle?

As much as I would like to meet new people in my life, with either the same interests as me or just purely for the sake because he or she has some kind of chemistry with me and is interesting enough to hang out or chat with, I also sometimes fear at the thought of having a wide social circle. Because this somehow complicates your life in a way, or the other. Sometimes you do wonder, whether you’re doing things out of obligations just because they are asking you, or whether it’s because you are willing to do it simply because you really consider them as your true friends, thus it’s worthwhile for you to do anything for them?

It never feels good when a friend rejects you, when you ask him or her out. Genuinely you may have your own reasons for doing so; be it commitments like school or work. But for me I will always make it a point to make amendments. Not free today? We can always arrange some other day to catch up. I always make it a point to make amends if I’m not free on the day my friends ask me out, cause I would feel that just shrugging them aside isn’t a very good idea. They are there for you when you need them, so when they need you obviously you should do the same for them too. It’s a two-way thing, not one-sided effort. Ultimately you have to touch your own heart, and make known to yourself that a friendship consists of not only about your life, but that other half’s as well, your friend also known as your tomodachi. Remember, your friends will definitely appreciate you as a friend if you are willing to make time for them, if you are not even willing to make some time off your schedule for them, what kind of friend are you really?

忙，是不是最好用的借口。。。？

Heh, yet another one of those topics again that sets my mind in a twirl. I’m tired and I don’t wanna think so much about it already. However if you have any opinions on this issue that you would like to speak up, please feel free to comment in the comments page, I would be glad to hear some of my friends’ views on this issue as well.

—————————-

Anyway, I recently got to know 2 very nice girls, Angel and Lorraine through Friendster. Not that I’m really free nor desperate to go search for girls on Friendster mind you, but somehow they found me and after some chatting up, they seemed like very nice people to me. Angel is an anime-fanatic while Lorraine is a japanophile like me. And not to forget, both of us are Laruku fans as well, and she adores Hyde and his music very much as well like me. Oh and how can I not write about this, she has even published her own book before! No kidding, she was even featured in a Strait Times’ article before. Check out her website here. She’s a real talented gurl, sort of like my inspiration heh. You go gurl, rock on babe!

Anyway just now Angel was bitching to me just now that she is jobless now. I told her to look on the positive side of life, cause that means she has more time to spend with her bf and her loved ones now. I always tell myself to look at both sides of a situation, cause when something bad befalls on you, that’s the only way to console yourself. Ultimately life is short, so rather than be unhappy about something, I would always try to make the best out of it. Heh, if only I can think that positively in every matters of life. (^ ^);

Alrights, it’s late and I’m going out to chill tomorrow, so I’m off to bed now. Goodnight my friends, and enjoy the nice weekend ahead. I really really miss you guys man, hope to catch up with everyone of you soon after my exams. Martin, Jimmy (seizure), Jeremy, Kaiwei, Pris, Mitchelle, will catch up with you people soon!

Solitary. I can’t help but sometimes find myself stuck in my own little world, just like this picture. This was taken quite sometime ago outside Plaza Singapura.

Lights. Beautiful Lights. There’s a reason why I like to gaze at stars at night, watch fireworks etc.

(more…)

Good morning world! After three consecutive days of hard battle, it was finally a day of breather for yours truly here and I’m just glad to be back to my own little world for now, with more of my loads of bullcrap thoughts and life accounts to entertain you guys with.

So honestly, I guess I’m safe to say that I did quite ok for all my papers, so far. With the exception of Maths P1 (this one totally flunked man, left so many questions blank) the rest should be considered SAFE; which in my own words stands for Successful And Flat-out Eminence. I guess I really have to put in more effort for my Maths P2 which is tomorrow, so that means more mugging later on, hurhurhur.

And I’m quite surprised that the question papers they have now are a far contrast to what I used to had last time. Gone are the days where you would see MCQs, with a separate answer sheet for you to shade your answers from choices A to D. No more of that shit anymore. Honestly I was quite taken aback when I read my question papers for my English P2 (Revised Edition). No doubt it was quite easy, I mean c’mon all along in my sec sch days I had never flunked my English ever once before, and I don’t even remember studying for my English back then. It was purely a guts feeling kind of thing, and Lady Luck was always on my side I guessed. So actually this time I did the exact opposite; really studied for my English, as well as constant checking up on the dictionary so I can memorise and use those words that I would need to use mainly for my continuous writing. I wasn’t prepared to take any risk this time, cause I sorta realised this was a really crucial subject, if I somehow flunk this paper, there goes the whole exam and my efforts, all washed down the drain. Anyway now that it’s finally over, I’m glad to say that it’s a high possibility that it would be a definite pass for this one, if not an A. I also have to thank my family and of course the Lord himself too, they have been very supportive and faithful to me, giving me the strength to sustain this tough period throughout.

Right now, I’m actually quite drained both mentally and physically, cause I’m not used to taking exams for quite sometime, and that means forcing myself to get used to such an event or situation where I will have to react accordingly. I’m totally lacking of adequate sleep for these past few days, cause the hyper-tension and pressure is up there and I have so much to cram into my limited brain cells within such a short time. But I guess somehow I will survive this period, I definitely will and I must. The aspiration and determination to pass this exam is right on, deep in my heart and soul.

I also have to thank my friends for supporting me throughout this tough period, you guys really make my day man. It’s really nice to know I have some really nice friends around with me, thank you so much for the concern and encouragement, I can’t stress how much I am grateful to you guys and girls, but I’m just really happy and glad, thanks. (^ ^)

Nobuta wo Produce episode 4 was nice. And I also had some time yesterday night to finish up episode 2 of Hana Yori Dango, and my my Inoue Mao is definitely hot. Not to forget Sada Mayumi too, she’s like the asian reincarnation of Paris Hilton! Will post up some screenies soon, I promise. *winks*

Ok signing off for now, will be back with more updates soon.

8 more hours to Maths Paper 1. Die exams die. Strengthen and sustain me, Father. You’ve got to help me here with my weakest subject. Onegaishimasu, Kamisama!!! _|￣|O

Spent the whole weekend this week revising at home, lol very last minute revision actually. And Nobuta wo Produce episode 4 is finally out, currently sitting in my harddisk screaming for attention. Haven’t had the time to watch it yet, the bloody exams is driving me crazy and causing me to lose out on j-drama and anime me-time, and not to mention I have plenty of backlog of games to catch up on too. Ahhhh give me back my freedom. (;-_-)

Ok back to more mugging before I head off to bed, I can’t stand groggy mornings without enough sleep, my temper will bound to suffer drastically, just hope tomorrow no-one will kana anything from me, lol. Signing out, oyasumi minna!

Two blog posts in a night. Rare sight eh? But the previous post ain’t meant for you guys to see, only that person concerned will have the chance to read it, sorry to disappoint you guys. It’s about some personal stuffs I wished to voice out to that person so I have to make it private.

So right now, it’s actually drizzling out there, another one of those rainy nights again. I’m listening to 林俊杰 - Di Er Tian Tang right now, and the song fits the mood totally man, with the rain splattering against the windows. Suddenly have this huge craving for singing KTV man lol, but I can’t sing my lungs out in my room now because it’s already so late, later my parents thought I went crazy or something lol singing in the middle of the night.

So I had just finished watching episode 3 of Nobuta wo Produce just now, pretty good stuffs. I initially caught on this latest Fall jdrama because of 堀北真希 (also known as Maki Horikita), but this is shaping out to be a very good jdrama, and not just about pretty girls and bishies. And seeing 山下智久 (also known as Yamashita Tomohisa or Yamapi) acting as this happy-go-lucky highschool student, just cracks me up man. I think this is one of his better roles in the jdramas I saw him in before, ’cause usually his roles in the jdramas he acts in are usually more reserved, but things has since been quite promising for him since he starred in Dragon Sakura and now in Nobuta wo Produce. Definitely one of the more promising male actors from the Johnny’s group talent agency. Another guy who is starring along-side him as one of the male lead is 亀梨和也 (also known as Kamenashi Kazuya) but that guy’s acting is quite uninteresting so I shall skip all the introduction stuff, all I know is he’s from the boy-band KAT-TUN and he’s also signed under the Johnny’s group talent agency.

I’m also currently watching Hana Yori Dango which is the jdrama alteration of the original manga. This show is commonly known as Meteor Garden in Taiwan, with the famous taiwan boy-band F4 acting as the role of each male lead characters from the original manga. So far I have watched only episode 1, and it’s shaping out to be a very good and fun jdrama, will definitely continue watching this series. And Shun Oguri is acting as Hanazawa Rui which is my favourite char in HYD, so it’s interesting to see how this goes. I will try to put up some screenshots of both jdramas soon so stay tuned.

And yeah, dinner was great yesterday with Syahmi and Jimmy, we had Pepper’s Lunch at Taka. And Jimmy finally got his new handphone which is the Sharp 903SH that I’m carrying now. Wah not bad ah, so far I actually managed to psycho two of my friends by enticing them into buying that phone, lol tells you how successful I would be if I were to be a salesman. So that aside, we spent the whole evening doing some window-shopping and more eating again at Mos Burger later, damn shoik man so long never go for food feast liao. Syahmi just finished his fasting period so we went for some feasting spree, initially we headed over to Far East Plaza for some Rotiboy but it was closed so he was like kinda sad cause he was craving for it lol. Anyway it was super fun just out chilling and enjoying food with close friends, and Syahmi proposed an idea to me yesterday which I think is also a great idea in my opinion, will discuss it with Ronald about it soon. Wanna know what the idea is about? Haha stay tuned for more updates then, probably will reveal everything once the plans has officially commenced. (^ ^)V

On the other hand, she responded to my blog entry a few nights ago. I still didn’t initiate a conversation with her, ’cause seriously, I really do not know what to respond or reply to her. I was suddenly dumbfounded for words. On one hand, I’m not sure if it has been a misunderstanding for been angry with her due to some miscommunication, and on the other hand, I didn’t believed she actually consider our friendship that much in regards. I really don’t know what to say. I need time. If you’re actually reading this, please believe me, I didn’t hate you in the first place, I might be angry with you literally but not to the extent of hating you. What I mean by I have nothing more to say to you, is with regards to some issues pertaining to our friendship. Give me some time, I will look for you personally to clarify things once I think I’m ready.

Ok I’m signing off, oyasumi minna-san laters!