Life should be more interesting and happening, than this.

I mean seriously, c’mon man. Some anonymous girl going by the name of ‘Tammy’ (like I give a hoot about her name) loses her hp (whether intentionally or not is none of my concern) and then the videos of her sex act with her boyfriend captured inside gets uploaded by some bitch/arch-rival in her school. Then commotion starts everywhere online, off the streets and even among us. So hordes of horny guys and sad-fucks have literally watched the said video and had already started spreading the links of the different parts of videos now to their friends and peers so more people can get high over it? (hey I seriously don’t give a fucking damn abt that video)

For Christ’s sake (or for the victim’s sake, if you’re not a Christian), please lah. Get a fucking life and move on. This issue needs to get over and done with, and the victim has already moved on with her life and is undergoing counselling now. I don’t see how this thing can get discussed over and over again, on local blogs and discussions pertaining to the topic. I mean, it’s only a fucking seventeen year old anonymous girl, fucking with her boyfriend, recorded on a sucky 3GPP video format. If you need porn, you can probably get better ones than this definitely, I know you fucking sukebes out there can get better than this. And of course I profess, I still haven’t seen this Tammy video yet, cos I’m seriously not interested in it. (in all honesty, yes I have my own sources for my porn needs, so why should I subject myself to this kind of crap?)

You can be a fucking sukebe, but please be a smart one, and keep your morality at all times. And I’m quoting this: “The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance, and even our very existence depends on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to our lives.” Originally by Albert Einstein, not yours truly of course. (yeah the poet in me sucks)

So yeah, back to my life. I’m feeling much better now, thanks for all the concern asked and messages my friends, I’m glad you guys are with me in my life. I guessed I got thrown off a little too emotional, yeah I can be like that sometimes. I realised the most important thing in life is to be happy, so yeah I’m trying now. Hopefully things will get back to normal soon, I will be my happy self and things will be alright again for me. The world is not all sunshine and daisies for us, but we also have to learn to be contented in our lives, cause everything happens for a purpose and reason. The most important thing is never give up and believe in yourself.

Had a talk with Kaiwei over some personal issues that day. I think seriously saying that I vent my anger on my friends is a rather wrong statement. I don’t treat all my friends in that manner, if that’s how u judged me. Everything happens for a reason. And the reason why I choose to walk out on that person, is because I think my life has too much of this kind of people, so it would be better to just tell them to leave me alone, cause I don’t need this kind of “hi and bye friends” anymore. I seriously had enough. Why must I be nice to everyone, if that’s all what they do, taking me for granted? If you treat me seriously as your friend, you should show it with your actions. I cannot believe everything that people tells me, unless you tend to prove your point with real actions. And honestly, I think I didn’t do anything wrong. In the first place I didn’t even do anything nasty to that person, nor backstab him or anything. All I did, was just ask him to fuck off from my life. If that’s asking too much, then honestly I don’t give a damn. I don’t need to be nice to everyone, and I know who are my true friends, and who I choose to believe and have faith in.

I had my wake up call quite sometime back. Perhaps I didn’t talked abt this before, but I actually walked out of my clique myself last time. I never talked abt this issue much with my current friends, it was just a natural feeling to do so. The only real reason why I stood by with them for those couple of years, was seriously just because we lived near each other, and we were comfortable with each others’ company. But honestly when I look beyond all that, I found that none of them truly understand me, nor do they really listened to my opinions when I was still in the clique. (and those arguements we had in the past, is a serious fucking joke) So I decided enough was enough, it’s high-time I say quit. The emotional baggage was there, it was never an easy decision. But honestly why force myself? If you’re not happy with something, you should voice it out. Not just tolerate with it, just because of your peers. And all that talk about changing for your peers, it’s really true. Never change yourself for others. Cos I did really lost myself, when I tried changing into someone else just to suit others. I was really suffocating, this is not supposed to be me, not the monsieur aaron that I had once known to be. Why all this? So yeah, this was the reason why I choose to walk out, alone.

I beg to differ for those who thinks I’m someone who would walk out on their friends, in their times of need. Often so, I would usually be quite helpful to my friends, and usually help or assist them in whatever ways I can. But there are times when you must know how to make judgements yourself. If you’re those kind of friend who would only look for me when you need me, why should I even bother about you? This is a fucking joke man, I’m not your SOS friend who’s always on standby 24/7 just to help you out whenever you need me. Don’t be fucking naive, thinking that you can use or manipulate me to your likings. And of course, friendship ties must be rekindled from time to time. Make effort and be sincere. Don’t try to be a fucking bastard and only come look for me when you need some kind of lobang or help, cos if that’s how you rely and keep in touch with your friends, you’re seriously a pretty sad fuck in life.

Like what Kaiwei has said, I think I had been a goody-goody guy ( 好好男人 ) for too long liao, that some people really take me for granted. After the recent events in my life, I seriously think enough is enough. This is a fucking wake-up call for me by God, I should make my own judgement from now on and learn to know how to react to situations like this in future, cause it’s only through times like this then I will grow as a person. I might be a changed person from now on, but I will still be true to myself and to others, cause I don’t like to deceive myself and my friends in any way.

Looking on the bright side, I have my friends with me whom I can trust now, and that’s enough for me. I’m truly contented to have a few good friends who I can talk on the same frequency with, and like I had told Grace before, it’s really really hard to find friends in life who you can talk on the same level of frequency with, so I’m happy enough. Some people might have alot of friends in their life, but I seriously find that it’s quite a burden, when you have too many friends. A few good ones will be more than enough to make my life a meaningful and happy journey, and that’s enough for me. And of course I’m glad that I have my fair share of friends who knows how to accept me for who I am, and I also know that they will always be there, rooting for me.

On a side-note, Grace is finally finishing her papers tomorrow, and will be flying to Dubai this Sat for her exchange program. Gonna catch up with her and Syahmi for dinner on Fri, will be looking forward to it. Syahmi has since came back last week from Taiwan but we haven’t had the chance to catch up with each other yet, so this is a damn good opportunity to see each other again. Can’t wait to see you guys man!

Been quite busy with my japanese and portfolio recently, so driving me nuts haha. Anyway I also figured out that if my appeal doesn’t work out by April, I guess I will just have to enrol for night classes to study for my O’s again. No more taking chances anymore, need to do some hard discipline by going for classes and do some TYR liao. Only 9 more months to the exams so this time is victory or never for me. Cannot afford to score badly anymore, and I promise I will do my best to score well this time round. 決して、決して、決してあきらめるな！(Never never ever give up!) ＼(＾〇＾)／