Emotions: Perplexed Complexity. // 我的生活雑感。～橙思い日记本～

February 26, 2006

Angst Misery

This is gonna be another one of those fucking rants of my, so if you do not wish to read any please steer clear of this entry NOW.

I’m down with this emotionally-challenged syndrome again. And there’s those fucking academic concerns of my, and then some. Then I also have friends who simply thought that just because it’s not the end of the world for them, so they could take my words so lightly. (like oh why must I give a damn about your probs)

I had enough. I’m so fucking tired. I’m really emotionally-fuckingly hurted, that I just wished I had a personal space somewhere so I can hide in there forever, voided of everything.

I digress. Nobody should change or live for anyone. The moment you change yourself for someone or live for anyone, is when you really lose yourself. Tried and proven, by yours truly.

True friends should stick with you and accept you for who you are, and not ask you to change for others. What’s the point in that, when you start to change into someone else, losing yourself? What’s the essence in that? Make your fucking own judgement, and not listen to those self-proclaiming friends of yours. Wisen up.

I digress again. When shit happens to my friends, I never tell them it’s wholly alright that it’s not the end of the world, so they shouldn’t worry. Fuck it’s never wholly alright for anyone who’s in some kind of shit trouble, no matter how big or small it is. The least you can do, is stick with them and listen to them, lend them a listening ear in those times of need, and lend them your support. Not shrugging away the fact and trying to shun away from the topic. For fucking Christ’s sake, it’s during times like this that I realised that reality really bites, that it’s so fucking hard to find a friend who truly understands you.

I really really don’t wanna lose myself nor anyone. God, please give me a fucking break.