These past few days, I have been thinking alot. I think it has got to do with some of my friends around me, and the past behind me. I just can’t help but think, that alot of things has changed, without me realising the transition of things around me.

Growing up is never easy. It never was. But it was comforting in the sense that we know we will always try and move on, because we wanna be strong. And when things get emotionally out of control, we always hope to have someone to fall back on. It’s always like this, no?

However, moving on is easier said than done, really. When I smile or laugh, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m happy. Sometimes I wonder why I’m living in such denial. People build barriers around themselves, including me. But sometimes I feel that not only have I built barriers around myself, but I have also built barriers within myself, for some reason. Been detached and nonchalant to things around me, this is so unlike me. The transition of me changing into someone else that I do not even recognise or realise, is really inhumanly scary.

Just last week while I was having dinner with my group of friends, both me and Grace were just talking about something of the same wavelength. She was telling me that most people would not go that extra mile for that someone, if he or she is already comfortable in their own kind of comfort zone, with a core group of friends to fall back on for support. So does that mean, as long as we have a certain few individual friends that we can trust or rely on, we can take our so-called 2nd or even 3rd tier of friends for granted? I asked her, and she stuttered. She didn’t know how to reply me. I smiled and said it was alright, most people didn’t expect this kind of questions too.

The other day, I was abit disgruntled with Jimmy. I rebuked and complained that he didn’t spare time to hang out with us anymore, without me realising that he was been involved with more important stuffs in his life. He has been helping out this friend of his who’s just been discharged from ICU, after a great fall from a 6th storey-high building. Somehow after he told me this, I felt a tinge of guilt inside me for blaming him, and forgave him. It’s very rare to find someone who’s willing to go that extra mile for a friend, regardless of his or her own schedule. Deep inside my heart, he has my respect. And just awhile back ago, he almost got involved with the military law, because of a friend too. I think friends like this are very hard to come by. I’m glad to say that I’m fortunate to know him actually, he will always be one of my greatest and closest friend in life.

And of course, I’m very glad and happy to say, I have found friends whom I can trust and rely on. Regardless of things that happened in the past, how some friends has betrayed or cheated me, my faith in my friends has never been really wavered, just like how a tree is strong by its own roots. I might have made compromises along the way in some way or the other, or even showed you my attitude or temper, but my faith and trust in my friends, will always be there.

Sometimes, when we fall, we have to remember, that as long as we pick ourselves up, our strong will and faith will always be there, waiting for us.

“If you live, there will be a horrible day, but there will also be an amazing day. That’s what life is all about.”