So after yesterday’s papers (Chinese P1 & P2) it was officially an one week study break for me till the next one. All I can say is I think I didn’t do too shabby for my Chinese, though I don’t understand why I actually ran out of time for both papers. Continuous writing was pretty much a disaster; I spent too much time on the first one, and I actually ran out of ideas on what to write for the second one. Then I left out 3 questions blank in Paper 2 because simply, I don’t have enough time to attempt it, or rather you can say I didn’t really practised good time management for the paper. Oh well, scoring A’s would most probably be out for Chinese now, I’m guessing most likely it would be a B or C probably. It’s over now, so all I can think of is to concentrate and focus on my other subjects, no use brooding over it. I’m actually pretty glad to have this short study break for now, if not I think the stress up there would totally make me break down somehow.

On the other hand, I think I’m starting to lose faith in some of the things in life. I’m not sure why, it just striked upon me that as much as I wished to believe something, things don’t really seem that optimistic to me anymore, or I can’t think that positively anymore. My views on various matters seemed more cynical now, not that I was affected by anything, but it just tend to be like this somehow. Change in perspectives? Perhaps. I’m more non-chalant now, I don’t like to stress my ideas on something unless really needed, usually I would just go with the flow. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but I personally think that it isn’t a very good idea to input and force your perspectives into other peoples’ lives too much.

Oh well, I also don’t know why I’m talking about this. Nothing to do with my mood today, I’m actually feeling pretty fine. But I guess it’s because of all the study stress and emotions kept inside me recently, thus I might be expressing myself in a different way, but definitely not in an incoherent manner, ’cause I’m pretty clear of what I’m trying to input here.

Anyway, Pris msged me yesterday out of the blue, and both of us apologised to each other for the nasty stuffs we scolded each other sometime back. I guess sometimes among friends, we just need some time to cool off, before things would get better without any reason. Both of us didn’t think that it would be this simple, but all it really takes is one simple sms to make things alright again. It’s friends like this, that I wished that I can appreciate and cherish them more in life. I need more people like this to be in my life, not some people who simply takes friendships for granted, expecting people to always give in to their ideas and perspectives in life.

And on the other hand, I haven’t spoken to her for almost a month already, I think. Our last conversation didn’t really end in a good way, but I’m pretty sure of my actions and words I said to her during that time. I think it’s the reality that made me realised that, in a good way. The truth about how she can say one thing, and do another thing to you. The worst thing is, not keeping to her promises. And I really hate people who break their promises, period. I guess I’m safe to say, this has definitely nothing to do with horoscopes, but it’s simply a individual and individual thing. It takes two hands to clap, and if only one side makes the effort, things would never work out or go smoothly.

I still have something I need to pass to her, but I think I will do that by snail mail instead. It’s not about courage, it’s about I believe there isn’t anything else to talk about with her, anymore. The fact that during this one whole month, she didn’t attempted to contact me, just proves my words right. True, it has been excruciating for me in a way, but I don’t stay at one place and cry over spilled milk; I’m a much stronger person now and I have to move on. This world has so much more, better things out there waiting for me. Perhaps she is but just an acquaintance that wasn’t meant to be.

So yeah I’m fine now, really. Please don’t ask me about anything regarding this entry when you see me, ’cause I’ll usually write my stuffs and forget about it after awhile, you don’t have to remind me about it. This is just the way of life, and I’d come to live with it. I have my friends with me for emotional support, and I have Jesus with me for spiritual support, all’s good in life and will always be, hopefully.

Ok signing out for tonight, I’m finally taking a break tomorrow and going out with Jimmy and Syahmi to chill, looking damn forward to it. Take care everyone, laters. (^ ^)