My life has been pretty good recently. As in, I have found amity among my bunch of friends, without too much politics. There are still politics talk whenever it’s concerned, but tell me which clique doesn’t have politics? Nevertheless, it’s good to know what we want, and we can voice out to each other comfortably, without actually creating conflicts among ourselves internally. Mutual understanding and compromising plays a part here too, and I’m glad all of them possess it.

I can’t believe that the discussion I had on Saturday with my group of clique, triggered some reminiscent times I shared with my previous clique, and actually made me look back at my past blog entries, dated as old as the year 2002. It was a year when alot of things changed for me. Lotsa things. The big dispute I had with my previous clique at Blk 532, which resulted in tears in my eyes. (I guess only Shaun remembers about this now?) The day I finally realised that I had been used and cheated by a friend whom I had regarded as a close friend of my. (I will never ever forget this…) Enlisting into national service on the day of enlistment itself, alone. (Yes, my clique wasn’t there for me back then)

Looking back at all these, it just felt like it happened only yesterday. So much things has happened, and we had all come a long way. Now thinking back, lotsa things I did back then were pretty foolish and immatured. Naive was what I was back then. I can hold on to my beliefs, regardless of how many people tend to fail my expectations. I always believe in my friends, regardless of whether they would bite me when I turn my back. I shared my wealth and happiness, regardless of whether they think I am flaunting about it. And it’s all because of a simple reason; I believe in them, my friends. I want them to be happy like me.

Unfortunately, this world isn’t perfect. Jealousy and discontentment exists among people. I can still remember back then someone actually scolded me and said that I was using my wealth to buy friendships. What mockery. I was stunned and shocked, especially when it was coming from a friend. What can I say? Of course I was hurted. It was a reality check.

Taking friends for granted. How often have you actually took your friends for granted? I always try not to, but I know I did. Thinking that my friends will be so agreeable, so forgiving and so nice to actually understand my reasons or excuses. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Once bitten, twice shy. People show you what they are capable of, when you pissed them off. And it hurts, it fucking hurts I tell ya.

I wished I was living in Heaven. But unfortunately this is the Earth that we are living in. Where we are bound by systems, and politics. Playing by the rules, and breaking the rules. And when it happens, we pay with consequences. Everything in life is bound to be billed with some consequences, whether you feel like been responsible or not. If you don’t like your life, you can only fucking blame it on yourself. That why you didn’t attempt to make it better, and why is it that your life’s so fucking sucks, that it doesn’t even make sense. Ask yourself, question yourself. It’s always good to ask when you don’t know something. At least you’ll learn something new at the end of the day.

I can’t believe that I was actually so nice, to consider forgiving this someone whom I used to distaste so much. (I don’t hate him that much now, since I can be pretty non-chalant these days) And why am I not surprised to know that he had been talking about my lan jiao wei behind my back, even though he doesn’t really know me that well. And like what Jimmy has said, I do wholly agree on the fact that he has to be taught a lesson, if not he won’t learn to respect others. This guy has totally no fucking idea how many people are waiting to beat him up, and yet he still can fucking assuringly think that it’s not selfish to ask for forgiveness. Think about your actions first, before you ask for something. If your actions doesn’t concede with what you are saying in the first place, do you think people would give you any chance, to prove yourself?

I’m waiting for the day, where he has the guts to scold me in the face. And if that happens, then that will be the day when I will finally beat the guts out of him too, don’t need to give face liao. We shall see.

There’s a limit to how nice I can be. If you have doubts, you are very welcome to try me.