Emotions: Perplexed Complexity. // 我的生活雑感。～橙思い日记本～

May 30, 2005

I’ll Get Over You….Someday

Was chatting with Lydia over MSN just now. Some happy stuffs. Some depressing matters. And some that reminded me of the disappointment I had some years ago, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. It’s all past-tense now. But somehow, some memories still stay vividly clear in my mind, haunting back at me at unexpected moments like this.

Come to think of it, it’s already been almost 11 months since I had a relationship with a girl. I should probably pull myself out of this soon. But I have been trying, it’s not like I haven’t tried at all. It just seems so hard, so much harder than I expected. I really want to open up my heart to someone, some girl who is worth my love, worthy of my undying love for her. But on the contrary, I seem to be the one who is the tough nut to crack, who just push anyone away who tries to get close to me, on personal terms. Sometimes I feel rather hesitant, when it comes to relationship matters. Everything just seems so adverse, so unruly for me.

That said, I don’t think I can pledge myself to any love commitments at the moment. Because other than been affected emotionally, I would also be affected on the whole, both financially and physically too. Financially, I would try to provide the best for my girl, supporting her. And that means probably I have to skimp or get a perm part-time job, just to meet the ends for both me and her comfortably. Physically, I still think I’m rather weak and thin and I don’t have what it takes to protect someone I love. I did learnt Aikido before but that’s like only for the basic learnings and so aeons ago, so consider that omitted. (blah)

Still, I’m happy for those happily in-bliss couples among my friends, happily blessed in clover. It’s good to know some of your friends are enjoying a hell of a good love life, and you’re blessing them with bliss. And I’m certainly happy for one of my good buddy, Shaun. Think he has finally found his right one after such a long time. Lord Bread, ya hear me? Will be patiently waiting for the day to come for your invitation card to your wedding with Jun, hehe. (^_^)V

Hrms guess I will go crash my bed now. And I’m so happy that I would be meeting Pris for dinner tomorrow evening, then gonna meet the rest of the guys at Cathay Cineleisure tomorrow for ~~Madagascar~~ (edit: didn’t watch in the end =/) . Good night everyone oyasumi nasai.

Filed under: Emotions :: 2:14 am
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1 Comment »

hi there.. it was nice reading some of your thoughts.. i for one… had problems on letting go… but yea.. time is a healer.. its easy to say “let go, and move on” but its really hard to do.. uhmm.. not really a good adviser.. but do keep those thoughts coming… ^_^ oyasumi nasai… nytnyt

Comment by georly — September 5, 2005 @ 9:36 pm