Haven’t been updating abt my personal life, so I figured today I will do some updates about what’s going on in my life. At the same time I will also mention about this ‘insensitive’ someone who has been making things difficult for me and the others for awhile ever since the last time I’ve talked to him personally, but more on that later.

To start on a happier note, I have finally registered for the GCE O Level exams for 2005, meaning I’m now officially a private candidate for the Cambridge O’s this year. Finally a stone off my shoulder, now it’s time to work towards my goal and start mugging for it. I promise that I won’t let myself or my parents down again, it’s time to work hard and get realistic, no more fooling around. I told myself I can’t afford to fail this time, this is my only chance to secure a placement in NAFA next year and since I have come these far, might as well achieve my goal and work towards my dreams. And that means cutting down on my internet and gaming time. Shouldn’t be a big problem since I had already stopped touching my PS2 for roughly a month now, even though I bought 2 new games recently, Tekken 5 and God of War for PS2. However not touching the PC and internet would be a harder task for me to accomplish, due to my own nature and instinct, it’s just like my ‘wife’, my life-companion. I just hope to cut down my internet time in a way so that I won’t be easily distracted, and that certainly requires lotsa discipline and determination, I think. Well let’s just say I will work towards it slowly, so wish me luck ya? (shouts Gambatte Gambatte!) (^ ^)”

And then, I recently met that ‘girl’ from Friendster. Much friendlier than I expected, then again I already kinda knew she’s quite an extrovert, so go figure. She already has a bf so I believe she has no ulterior motives, probably just wanna make friends with me. However it kinda scared me, cos actually that night while I was sending her back home, she became rather ‘physical’ with me, if you get what I mean. Pulled my hand, lean on my shoulders, held onto my bicep for support, all those ‘teasing’ gestures that you can expect from someone who is relatively ‘open-minded’, but still not quite what I expected. I didn’t like it, so I told her off when we were finally alone, away from the public. Not in a harsh way, just in a firm manner that’s all. She understood what I meant, but still jokingly tried to shake her way outta it, so I was like ok what the hell, forget what I mentioned then. (-_-)” Had supper nearby her house, before finally sending her straight home. And I only reached home ard 2AM in the morning. Can’t believe I did such a kind gesture just on the first day I met her, bah. Then again I usually send girls home whenever I ask them out, so I can’t complain either.

So you guys must be wondering, how was my first impression of the girl, after several months of not going out with any girls? Frankly I don’t know man. Ever since I broke up with my ex last year, I haven’t really been hanging out with any girls, ‘cept for my girl buddy. It was kinda weird, but at the same time ‘nothing’ too. Nothing special really, it just feels like hanging out with my own bunch of friends, except that I can’t talk openly what I wanted, cos it’s with the opposite sex, and someone I don’t know well too. But definitely no weird thoughts or fantasies, I mean oh c’mon, she’s not even my type. (-_-)” No doubt she’s rather good-looking, and quite attention seeker also, with her super long legs and mini-skirt that day when I met her, but that’s not the issue. I just felt that I can’t seem to really fall in love with any other girl again, after that painful ordeal I had last year, over my ex-gf. Life just seems so dead at times, you can’t seem to find the purpose to live on in life anymore, without any hopes for that significant someone to appear again, in your life. And then there’s the insecurity, of getting into a relationship with someone else, not meeting the expectations and all, for both person in e relationship. So to save myself from all the agony, I decided to lock myself out from any relationships at e current moment. I also think it’s the best for myself, so I can better concentrate on my studies for this year. Probably by the time I finish my O’s, I would probably have better luck with my love life, or probably I would be able to see things, in a more positive manner and perspective.

And finally, on to that ‘insensitive’ someone I was talking about earlier on. I actually tried refraining myself from talking about this particular person on my blog, in fact I usually don’t mention anyone on my blog, unless he or she is really close to me. But he has time and time again bad-mouthed me on his blog, saying untrue things about me. And since my previous personal confrontation with him, I had already warned him not to write anything untrue about me. Sure you might say it’s his own personal blog, so he can write whatever he wants. But I seriously detest anyone who writes things based on untrue facts, or simply biased. Calling me ‘names’ and all, do I even deserve all these in the first place? And I already told him firmly in the face before, I won’t cross your path and don’t you ever cross my, but it seems he simply enjoys putting me in difficult situations, so sadist of him. So this time I told myself, no more Mr Nice Guy. If he can say what he wants on his blog, why can’t I? But I don’t talk without facts, so now here I’m gonna have people backing me for my words or for what I will write here. If you would like a little challenge as you had requested on your blog, I will play with you till the end, ‘cos giving in to your ‘lameness’ is just so unsatisfying, so let me play along with you, if you insist.

I’m quite absolutely sure he will read my blog entry, so I don’t think the following paragraph would be written in vain. If he really doesn’t read it, then it’s too bad. Then again I have gotten ‘word’ from someone that he likes to invade peoples’ privacy especially by reading blogs, so I’m quite sure he will check out my blog, for further feedback. NOW here’s my response to you. Firstly, FUCK YOU. What makes you think I told Jimmy, or even Timothy to lie to you about the KTV outing? You turn up yourself for the KTV outing, without even getting invited, what makes you think you’re welcomed? If you really think so, I really really am convinced you’re indeed very thick-skinned afterall. Secondly, I did told Jimmy not to invite you for the KTV, if you’re interested to know. But he’s the sole organiser, so it’s up to him to make the decision, what I told him is merely a suggestion. I just told him I wasn’t really comfortable with you around that’s all, you try saying someone’s ‘kao wei’ behind someone’s back, then you try going out with that someone, try asking yourself if you would feel comfortable with that. The FACT is that Jimmy didn’t invite you for the KTV outing, and I don’t see why you tried following Timothy for the outing, do you even know what is basic courtesy of ASKING? Merely showing yourself up without asking, what kind of attitude is that? Really makes me wonder how freaking ‘pea-brain’ your mentality is. And thirdly, I ALREADY have bad blood with you. Don’t even assume, it’s CONFIRMED plus CHOP plus GUARANTEED. No way can anything wash away the bad blood btw me and you, unless you offer me a sincere apology personally and I deem it sincere from you, if not please FUCK OFF from my sight. And please stop invading peoples’ privacy, do you even realise how fucking irritating you are. GO GET A LIFE or something, you BEEN 25 years old and you are still a fucking immatured kid. Please wake up your idea, there’s a reason why everyone’s been trying to avoid you today ok, you think I’m such a great one, that I can simply brainwash people just by badmouthing you behind your back? You really overestimated me, you freaking FATSO. And what makes you even think I have been badmouthing you to other people? Me trying to snatch your friends away from you? OH GROW UP PLEASE. (._.)”

Phew, that was a long one. I really hope I get my message across to him now. It’s really really mentally taxing, especially when someone like him gets on my nerves. But honestly it’s pleasant and gratifying to know through this event, that after hanging out with this bunch of people from this great gaming community for so long, I have found some true friends along the way who has been sticking with me and supporting me even though they have been hearing lotsa fake stories behind my back, from that person. Honestly I don’t give a flying fuck about what he tells the others, cos as long as my conscience is clear, I don’t see the need to defend myself, regardless of how ‘untrue’ the things he has told them. Besides, talk is cheap. People can see and judge for themselves, through the heart and soul, and not just eyes or hearsay. So nice try there, Mr. A, you can keep trying, but in the end the only one losing out is you, not me. You would have realised by now you’re slowly losing your circle of friends in this community, not because of me, but because of your own actions. You have to think what is seriously wrong with you, and if you still don’t change your old ways, I seriously don’t know what would become of you. Then again it’s your own life, so it’s up to you seriously. To change or not to change, that’s up to you, period.