I was watching 世 界 の 中 心 で 、 愛 を さ け ぶ (Sekai No Chuusin De, Ai Wo Sakebu) that day, and in one of the episodes, when Aki told Sakutaro this phrase, I was totally touched. She said to Sakutaro, “有 失 去 就 会 有 得 到.” (In Japanese of course) Somehow I find this phrase very meaningful, yet non-existent for me.

Is it really true? I pondered. In the last 22 years of my life, I’ve definitely lost alot of things along the way. I lost my wallet twice, once in pri school, and another time when I was eighteen years old I think. Yet, I can’t seem to remember what I’ve gained through losing. Honestly I don’t. And I’m still trying to savour that tiny whiny bit of belief I had held on to it, all these while.

So, I have read a few ebooks recently, which caught my interest so I downloaded them. There’s this sentence which I remembered, it says “When you’re young, it’s time to break out. Careers can come later.” I find it kinda true. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case in Singapore. Everything seems so competitive these days, and you’re just another one out there who’s struggling for your own rice bowl, your own survival. That day I was chatting with Samuel online, so we were catching up on this topic, that life is such a repetitious process, so uninspiring. He said look at it this way, when we were young, we mugged like hell to get good grades, just to get into a good school in the hope of a better future. After graduating, all guys here still needs to freaking serve a 2 & 1/2 years of national service (2 years for NSF noobs now) as a paying back compliment to the government, for all these years of subsidizing our school fees while we are young and incapable. (right on, I couldn’t agree more) Then after NS it’s mugging the hell out of ourselves again, gaining that extra piece of paper called Degree, or Ph.D for that matter if you’re capable enough. Then after that, you head out into the society, looking for a decent job in the industry you’re interested to work in. In the process, you still need to do something about your social life, getting a potential wife, have kids and build up your family. Few years down the road again when you start having kids, it’s all abt worrying for your son or daughter’s education route, and working the hell out of your lives. That’s how scary Samuel described to me, a typical life-story of a Singaporean here. I found it scarily true, couldn’t agree more with him. Then again, it’s all about searching for that special purpose, your special meaning in life. Only that it makes your life more colorful and more fruitful than just been a person with normalisation in his or her living standards, period.

Frankly, I was kinda depressed recently. Over what? My studying issues of course. But alas I decided to cheer up, and work hard towards my short-term goal for now. So I decided to go enjoy myself a little today. I haven’t really went out to enjoy myself for the past two weeks, been troubled and all, I didn’t had the mood to do anything. So today I decided to head town and meet up to chill with my friends. Gonna meet up with Samuel for movie later but before that I will be meeting up someone whom I just got to know through friendster, and yes it’s a girl. (-_-)” Well she requested to meet me out in real life, I tried to reject but I felt bad. So since she was sincere to meet me, I decided to just go and meet her up, get to know her better or something. Who knows, might just click with her. Let’s just hope it won’t be a disastrous meeting, hmm whatever.

I seem to have more unhappier stuffs to blog about, but I decided to skip that. Just wanna say it feels kinda hurted to have a friend rebuked at you, especially over a minor topic which is the iPod Shuffle MP3 player. Honestly up till now I still don’t know how he concluded back during the recent IT fair in Suntec, that Apple will sell the iPod Shuffle 512MB for $150. Everyone who’s been reading up abt tech-gadgets and stuff, will definitely know that Apple products’ prices doesn’t drop relatively fast, their prices are quite stable in fact, as least for the local scene, not talking abt overseas. Just because he didn’t have his way during the IT fair, didn’t had the chance to get a $150 iPod Shuffle, equals to getting a slew of profanities from him. It may be a spur of the moment thingy, but honestly I really wonder, do I really deserve all this? Honestly I really don’t care you know, I’ve met so many shit people from a long way, this is just another passing phase in my life. I guess in life, sometimes you just have to endure all kinds of shite from the people around your life. Then again something nice happened to me today, so I guess life ain’t all that shitty afterall. *rolls eyes*

Enough of my depression and rantings turmoil, I’m gonna go out and chill. Enjoy the nice weekend ahead everyone, bye peeps. (^ ^)