Emotions: Perplexed Complexity. // 我的生活雑感。～橙思い日记本～

January 10, 2005

A Special Day…

Today is her special day, her 20th birthday. Somehow I’ve not forgotten about it. Ironically 5 months ago on this very day of the month, it was our very special day. I can still remember those sweet and happy moments we shared together, how both of us enjoyed that sweet bus ride home, how I enjoyed sending her home everytime, how she teased me etc.

It’s surprising how I’ve refrained from speaking about her in my blog for quite awhile, and yet when I start writing abt her in my blog, all those emotions, all those feelings I had before, just gradually all came back. It really doesn’t matter anymore, akin to Jay Zhou’s 安靜 song lyrics would describe, I will just learn to forget her and gradually plurge her out of my memories, out of myself one day. Neither will I go try and be Mr. Nice Guy and drop a message and wish her nicey words or greetings on this very special day, cos somehow I know my existence is not needed in her living world, somehow I also don’t really acknowledge the fact also, that I know her at all. Like I say before, and I will say it again, her existence will always remain as a passive syllabus, a past tense verb in my dictionary forever, or as long as I live.

And I quote from one of my friend’s quotes, “you know you’ve been neglecting your loved one when you’ve forgotten the day is her special day.” Somehow I find this particular sentence very ironic, very amusing to myself. Only I will know why.

You can bend but never break me
’cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
’cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

So true. She should feel honoured to have caused my conviction in my soul to go deeper, some of my brain cells killed, thousands pierces of heartaches, huge losses of appetite, countless days of insomnia, and a totally changed monsieur aaron. Well done.

Filed under: Emotions :: 9:06 am
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1 Comment »

Hi aaron long time never meet u le…
so happen to see ur blog 2day
erm… just want to tell u, sometimes when things are gone u have to learn to let go…
Look ahead, i am sure u can live better.
Lets find a time to catch up for a coffee. see u then

Comment by Falcon — January 13, 2005 @ 12:26 am