Chalet was good. Met some new people, had various topics touched on with the usual friends. Lotsa console-parties and fun had with the people there. Ben and Gary played very nice hosts, cooking and barbecueing the whole evening for the rest of us, without any complains. Not to forget Valentine also, been the organiser of this BBQ cum chalet and all, thanks for everything, you guys simply rock. I guessed most of us pretty much enjoyed ourselves, and it’s thanks to you people, that’s able to make it happen. I’m pretty sure this event has pretty much made us further bonded in every sense of the community. Let’s give each of ourselves a clap and a pat on the back hehe. *applauses*

And due to the tiring chalet event, I had a good 12 hours of undisturbed and sound sleep, was totally knocked out but woke up on Sat morning feeling rather refreshed. Went out around noon to go pass some stuffs to TK at Tampines, then headed down to Citylink to chill while waiting for Valentine. Had lunch at Burger King, my first unhealthy fastfood meal of the week. Well I’m just kinda particular about fastfood nowadays, that I try to avoid it as much as possible, excluding Mcdonald’s Sausage Mcmuffin breakfast, which I have a really soft-spot for it.

So while having my lunch (consider that brunch) at BK, there was this malay adult couple infront of me, aged probably somewhere btw late 20s to early 30s. They were sort of having a small dispute over something, I try not to listen to their conversaton but they were really raising off their top of their voices, that I couldn’t help it. Something to do with their parents, something to do with that guy’s insensitivity. That woman was really pissed with that guy, and that guy was showing off his anger to her. Not a very nice scene indeed. I decided to just quickly finish and get done with my meal and leave.

Called Valentine up and got to know that he will be late, so I went to hop over to Funan’s Gamescore to look for Deli and JL. And thanks to JL’s help, I finally got the v0.30 BB Navigator upgrade disc for my Sony Playstation 2’s HDD BB Navigator software. My BB Navigator software was still stuck on version 0.10, with really outdated features on the browser screen. And thanks to v0.30, I can finally move my savegames from my memory card to the HDD. And I finally bought the last copy of Half-Life 2 from Deli’s shop, damn I’m so lucky. Bought a couple of PS2 games too, sigh I guessed I really overspent alot on games for this month. Got the chance to sample Nintendo DS also which is Nintendo’s current latest handheld offering, officially retailing now at the price of $399, with one game bundle if I’m not wrong. This handheld is really innovative, you can actually play 2-player buddy buddy games on the same handheld, and also play games with the stylus. Had fun with one of the ping-pong games playing with JL, really innovative IMO. I also played a couple rounds of PS2 games like Devil May Cry 3 trial demo, Katamari Damacy and Capcom Fighting Evolution with them at the shop, while waiting for Valentine to reach. Soon more people dropped by like Ace, Brandon, Adam and Chengkai. I think they usually drop by to chill at Gamescore during Sats, after what Valentine told me when we left. I think I will definitely try to drop by more often, since most of the guys are dropping by over there during weekends.

So after meeting up with Valentine, off we went to Sim Lim Square to buy my stuffs for my new DIY system. Bought a couple of stuffs, mainly my graphics card, DVD Burner and harddisk. Decided not to buy everything at once since I don’t wanna carry too much stuffs, so I decided to come back again sometime soon. Soon we left SLS for dinner, headed over to Sunshine plaza for the famous wanton noodles. We met Echo at La Tendo before that, chatted for awhile then parted our ways, then finally settled down to have dinner. Had a good chat with Valentine on various topics, mainly about school and NS life. I was bitching about how good poly life is, how I never had the chance to experience it. And Valentine was bitching to me about how boring poly life is. LOL, I guess he won’t understand the fact till he goes through NS, then I think he will start to change his mind and understand that studying is actually a very blessed thing in disguise. After dinner we dropped by Bugis Junction to chill out at Kinokuniya, then it’s home sweet home for us after that.

It was a pretty long and tired day for me. But I pretty much enjoyed myself. I also have some rough thoughts in my mind. Let’s just say sometimes, I really feel quite insecure about friendships. Sometimes you really tend to think, whether that person, that friend of yours, the reason for hanging out with you, is merely trying to knock off benefits from you, or purely just for the sake of friendship, no motives, nothing else more.

I won’t try to use names here, I never mention names in my blog, ever. I will just try to use alias to replace them. One of them is guy J, while guy K is the other. I believe they do read my blog entries, so I hope this would be a good chance to pass the hints to them. Anyway I was saying, that Sat morning, I woke up and saw J was in IRC, already planning to go out. So I was like asking him, wanna go out chill in the evening, have dinner or something. He say he’s not free, have some other plans with his friends, and prob going back home early for dinner. Ok fine, so I understand. This is not a problem. But the moment he mentioned that he was meeting K later to go out, my heart sank. And K didn’t even msg me to say anything about going out. At that moment, I felt totally left out.

On-lookers, casual people like you won’t understand what’s the big hoo-haa about. But I think only two of them, guy J and guy K, will understand what I’m talking about. When I treat you guys like brothers, like my best of friends, I expect you guys to treat me the same. Don’t come to me only when you need help, and leave me out when you guys go chill and leave me out. I can still remember countless events, when I honestly put you guys over consideration of myself. Still rem that LOTR: ROTK movie that you guys wanted to watch so much? I watched it the 2nd time just merely because of you guys, even though I have already watched. And then there’s the fly-aeroplane incident that K put me into, initially already have plans to meet, came out at night liao, suddenly call to tell me he cannot meet me anymore, cos of his gf. I forgave him, cos I was understanding. I didn’t bitch about it. When K was anxious to hunt for his N-gage classic, I went all over Tampines to check out news for him, accompanied him and J the whole day to hunt down all over Singapore just for the god-damn phone. When he had countless problems with his phone, and called and asked me countless of questions, I offered my help without any qualms. And then, when it comes to going out, I always get left out, or am the last one to know everything. Sometimes I really wonder is it the age gap that differences everything btw us, but considering I’m only like one year older than them, I don’t think so, since I can like hang out with Valentine and gang, with absolutely no problems at all. Probably I’m just insecure about friendships, that my worries are probably way too much for me to handle, without any assurance to rely on.

I probably should just go chill, and leave all these thoughts behind me. I wonder if guy J and guy K will ever understand, and change their attitude towards me. There are times I really appreciate what they do, I can still remember the happiness, when J booked out late that evening to meet us, the day when K got his van out first and drove us all over Singapore, and we finally had our first KTV session, all 3 of us together, singing our hearts out. It’s these kind of small little things that we do, that I’m really happy without any complains just hanging out with them. But sometimes, I just feel so insecure, so left out, when I find out that there are things I never got to know, or am never part of it. Sigh, the irony of friendships.

Sometimes I feel so helpless, whether I should trust friends. When I trust them too much, they take advantage and make the most benefits out of me. When I try to be nice to you, please do not take advantage of it. I treat you as my true friend, that’s why you’re worth my respect. Do not try to break this fellowship or the trust I put within you, if not you would only hurt me and make me back off from you gradually.

I’m gonna go for a jog, then heading out to meet Joshua for coffee later, haven’t met him in awhile, wonder if he’s doing fine. Gonna pass him my copy of Ninja Gaiden too. I guess I shall write till here. It’s the start of a new week again soon, till then, take care and chill out.