How hard is it for one to find someone whom you really care for, and to love and accept his or her everything else. And nothing else matters anymore? Be it eat, sleep, live or die… nothing else. That’s in a world of love.

Is it because we are so reliant on it? Cause it feeds our need to give love? Once that need is being severed, you start to feel so lost, so hurt, so difficult to accept, understand or even breathe?

Does that create a fear in us, for us to love again?

Remember awhile back, when I told you guys that I had a weird dream about one of my ex-crush? Well this time I had another weird dream again, about two nights ago. This time it’s ‘her‘. My most recent ex-gf. People say when you dream about someone in your dreams, it’s actually means that your subconsciousness is telling you that you are actually not thinking about that person anymore, so it brings the person from your past, your memories somewhere within and bring them into your dreams. That’s actually what I read about, I certainly hope it’s true.

Honestly speaking, I don’t feel that jaded anymore. It’s been awhile since I think about her, maybe more tonight cause I’m writing about this now in my blog. Ironically just now in MSN Priscilla was teasing me that she’s gonna introduce some girls to me sometime soon, but I shrugged and kindly rejected her kind gesture. One thing I’m quite sure of now, I’m definitely not ready for a new relationship. Not because I still like her or harbour feelings for her, but I just need some time off, alone. I just don’t feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with someone again, giving my love and everything, only to have everything shattered to pieces, feeling so lost and all again in the end. Let’s just say I’m still trying… just hope things will change eventually prior when the time is right or when fate decides its due when that special someone crosses my life that entices my attention.

This week got quite a few events going on. Sitex ‘04 at the Singapore Expo, which I will be dropping by this Sunday, and Jeremy’s birthday which is today theoretically speaking. Will be going either to Zouk or dBl-O to celebrate his birthday bash with him and his friends, anyway it’s really been awhile since I went clubbing, it was sometime back in late 2003 at one of the pubs at Boat Quay? Not really interested to pick up any girls though, just wanna go there chill and enjoy myself.

Ok it’s late, I should sleep. I promise I will take some pictures later today and upload here soon ya? Adios my friends, good night folks.