I seem to have lost my flair for writing recently. One of those dreaded spells that hit me hard, diverting my zest instead like enjoying a good anime or movie, playing a fun game on my consoles, or even just merely chilling out with cool jazz in the middle of the night with some nice cold jasmine green-tea to go with. I hope this feeling passes soon and comes to an end, if not a dead blog doesn’t fulfill the purpose of this new blog, defying my hope to write with joviality again.

Purpose, all of us has a purpose in life to begin with. There’s always a purpose behind everything, one of the core aspect and reason that urges us to believe and motivate in our lives to start with, on every brand new day.

Issues. To start with, I do have tons of issues to iron out in my life. And honestly it doesn’t help either with idoitic, selfish and egoistic people messing in your life. Been tactful is one thing, been kind to you is another. Do not take my kindness and innocence for granted. For that makes me wanna condemn you even further and abolish you out of my social circle completely.

If I dislike someone or a trait, I don’t just point it out like this in public. And if I wanna talk about somebody on an online blog like this, I will just use monikers discreetly or simply hints.

So she bitched to me online in MSN a few days ago, quickly defending herself yet again. She was trying to debate with me over the issue in a profused manner, telling me what I wrote in my blog earlier on wasn’t true, that I was just pointing my conclusions on assumptions alone, nothing from the mere fact that I was just simply presuming the facts that I had written.

I said excuse me? Firstly, this is my blog and I write whatever I want to write, so why are you giving me a mouthful of bitching, in the middle of the night? And secondly I didn’t use any names, so what’s the fuss? He or she, she or he. Does that provoke your ego at all? If it does, oh I’m so sorry about it, but I really can’t help it. So it seems to me that ego and pride means everything to you, and I wasn’t wrong about you afterall. *rolls-eyes*

Then she told me cause she treats me as a friend, thus she feels she has the responsibility to kick up the fuss and explain to me the fact in details. Friends? Ever since you have moved on with that new bf of yours, I haven’t heard from you ever since then. Maybe it’s for the better, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just partly me, that I didn’t make the effort to catch up with you. But honestly, trust me I had been trying my best to avoid you. Shaking away from you has helped me in moving out of the dark shadow encased upon me, allowing me to move on with my life. I also realised that it’s people like you, that makes me feel that girls can’t be trusted. Your past and your lies that I have known about you makes me wonder whether trust is a word in your living dictionary. I’m so sorry to have doubts about you now, but to be able to trust you as a friend now is hard, for what you have done to me in the past can’t be merely forgotten with just simple words. Forgiven but not forgotten is the best way to depict my feelings towards you now. And truthfully speaking, I’m afraid you’re just an acquaintance to me now. I just wanna be true to myself and to you now, when both of us have already moved on, into another phrase of new life. We hardly keep in touch now, so let’s just stay that way. It will be for the best.

Anyway, it’s already 5AM now, and I should sleep. My body-clock has become kinda screwed these days. I just hope I can get back to normal soon. Ok see ya peeps and good night everyone.

“A little melancholy a day takes your imperative to live away….”